Responsibility

My husband is gone. He's doing a job for the Army, and while he's safe, at a school, he's still gone. Like the last time he was gone I am having a hard time keeping up with the housework. Only I feel like it's worse this time, because now I have three kids and I feel like they are needing me ALL of the time. I need help but because of what happened in Arizona there are people I don't want to ask, and I really just don't want anyone to know. I don't want someone to come in here and take my children. I need help but because of what's happened before I have no one to ask. I can't afford to pay someone. I can't afford to go home. I can't do anything. I feel like all I can do right now is sit here and cry. And I can't even do that because I have to take care of my children.; I feel so trapped. So alone and yet not alone the way I'd like to be.