Ok so last week we "found out" I was pregnant!! yay!! I say found out but I already knew. Just like last time. It was this overwhelming feeling and there was a moment where I just knew. I am pregnant. And I thanked God.
I looked back at the past few weeks and totally realized all the emotions and craziness were due to pregnancy. So that's good.
And everyone seems to be so happy about it!! Which is great. I love how much support I have. At the same time I'm a little wary. I guess I'm happy. I mean after all we've been wanting a baby. I just feel so sick, and even a little depressed. I know these feelings are not me though. that's what's weird, I WANT to be happy but i just can't. I can't be happy at all. So I might see about getting some medication for that, given my history.
I wanted to try and journal through the pregnancy though. I hear a lot of women do it, and I always felt sad that I didn't the first time. So I'm doing it now.
Here's a rundown of how I'm feeling today.
Nauseous. Like really bad. I almost lost it in my bread pan. I was maknig some savory bread for Isaiah and everytime I tried to portion the dough it smelled so sick, I almost blew chunks into the pan.
Thirsty. I'm so thirsty, I can't get enough water. Except when I'm nauseous and then I have trouble drinking because everything in my stomach feels like it's coming up.
Peeing. I pee a lot. Although I'm cool with that..I love peeing. I peed a LOT last time and I remember when it was over I appreciated peeing so much. I still do. Peeing gives me extreme satisfaction hahaha.
STUPIDITY!! I'm feeling really stupid. I have to retype half of my words, everything I say comes out mixed up and jumble and I forget the simplest words. You have no idea how much brainpower it is taking to write this right now!! hahaha
Fatigue. So tired. Sooooo tired. That's all.
That's about it really. I'm trying to remember all this stuff about pregnancy and plan out the coming months with knitting and learning about cloth diapers, registries, christmas presents. I'm really just trying to keep myself together. Still having money troubles...but I'm trusting in God.
That's something I'm feeling a lot of lately. God.
I missed Him and knowing He's here for me right now means so much. I know that it's only through Him that we are having this baby. And I know that He must think it's the right time for a baby and so that's what is helping me go with it.
Thanks for reading. More later I guess :D
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2 comments:
I am glad things are looking up from your last post. I feel you on the not being able to feed your baby. It is a sad and helpless feeling. I know that there was one time where we only had like 12 things in the fridge/freezer. I nurse my son, so I could at least feel decent about him getting healthy food, but he is a toddler, so I know just nursing isn't enough. He ate a lot of cereal and honey bees. God has a plan for all of us. We just don't know it. We can't, it is beyond our comprehension. Keep the faith, God rewards those who continually seek him. *PEACE*
I've never been pregnant, but I've noticed that some women really really really love being pregnant, while others enjoy the product far more than the process. Well, I guess everyone loves their kids in the end, so you have something to look forward to!
And hey, thanks so much for the supportive words on my little post. Did you try the cake? Did it go over well? It was nice to have kind words in the midst of some chemical-hatred, haha. Like I wouldn't have known if everyone hadn't pointed it out! Silly. =)
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